I'm not much of a church goer. There have been times in my life when I wasn't much of a "believer." But I've always been a seeker of "inner peace."
One of my ex-boyfriends once told me about spending a week at a silent retreat with his dad. He said that he thought he was going to go absolutely mad after the second day of silence. But after the third day, something shifted and it turned out to be one of the best experiences of his life. Ever since then, I knew it was something I had to try. And it was definitely something I was afraid of. I pictured myself going mad after the second day and probably staying that way for the rest of the trip.
As it turns out, it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I went to the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, Georgia with a journal and a sketchbook in hand. I decided that I wasn't not only going to be silent, I was also not going to read anything or look at my phone, computer etc... I was going to cut off every contact to the outer world.
I spent most of the week by the lake and in nature in silent contemplation. I wasn't planning on attending the services but they were so beautiful. They weren't spoken. They were sung/chanted by the monks. I even got up to attend the 4 am vigils. There were also prayer services held at 7am, 12:15pm, 5:20pm and 7:30pm. I attended most of them.
I didn't feel like I was going mad the first two days but I did feel extremely emotional. I couldn't stop crying. It felt like a cleanse. Almost like my body was purging with tears. It took me a little while before I could embrace the silence. But when I did, it was beautiful.
The silence taught me to be completely in the moment. And that made me feel connected to everything around me in a way I never felt before.
I remember sitting at the outside dining area. There were people all around me sitting in silence. I even shared a table with two others. Everything was magnified. I could hear the sounds of the forks scraping the plates and the sounds of the birds in the distance. My eyes fixated on a butterfly and I watched it dance the entire time I ate. And I tasted the food in a completely different way. It was like tasting everything for the first time.
I think everyone should try being silent for a period of time. Go away to do it. It doesn't have to be a religious or spiritual place. It could be in nature. I could go on and on about all of the insights I gained that week. I think it gives you a completely different perspective on life. I'm thankful for my week of silence. It changed me for the better.
