Deconstruction and Starting Over

I can clearly remember the moments when life pushed me to a place where I realized that EVERYTHING I believed in up until that moment was wrong.  The day I got laid off from the company I worked for after 7 years of being a loyal employee, the day I was diagnosed with cancer and the day my husband left me. It's funny. I don't remember the exact details of each experience but I can remember exactly how I felt. I was devastated. My very foundation was shaken. And my entire belief system went out the window.

What I've learned
I'm going to have to steal a quote from Oprah because I can't say it better than this:

"Whispers are always messages, and if you don't hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don't handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don't handle the crisis, disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?"

And with that, I've decided to deconstruct this blog and take it to another site. You can now find me here:  http://groovegurl.wordpress.com/

On Worrying

Quote I have been pondering lately:

  ‎"That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent."- Chinese Proverb

Don't do it.

Dropbox: A virtual file folder

Dropbox is by far one of my favourite productivity tools. I use it to access files whenever I'm not at home. I also use it to share files, photos and mp3's with friends. It's like having a file folder in the "cloud". If you install their program, it looks like any other of your file folders on your computer. The only difference is that you can access it from anywhere.

One of the best uses for me has been for collaborating on songs with other musicians. One of us begins with a song idea (usually a drum beat and guitar and vocal part) and drops the file into the share folder. Then the other one adds their parts and mix ideas. We both have access to the same files. It even makes it easy to collaborate with someone who lives in another country!

The only drawback is that you only get 2 gigs to start. Not a lot when you are working with music files. You can get more storage space, by referral up to 8 gigs or you can pay a monthly fee of $9.99 to start with 50 gigs of space. Not worth it for me so I'm usually deleting files to make room for new ones..

Either way, it is an amazing tool.

My Week of Silence in a Roman Catholic Monastery

I'm not much of a church goer. There have been times in my life when I wasn't much of a "believer." But I've always been a seeker of "inner peace."

One of my ex-boyfriends once told me about spending a week at a silent retreat with his dad. He said that he thought he was going to go absolutely mad after the second day of silence. But after the third day, something shifted and it turned out to be one of the best experiences of his life. Ever since then, I knew it was something I had to try. And it was definitely something I was afraid of. I pictured myself going mad after the second day and probably staying that way for the rest of the trip.

As it turns out, it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I went to the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, Georgia with a journal and a sketchbook in hand. I decided that I wasn't not only going to be silent, I was also not going to read anything or look at my phone, computer etc... I was going to cut off every contact to the outer world.

I spent most of the week by the lake and in nature in silent contemplation. I wasn't planning on attending the services but they were so beautiful. They weren't spoken. They were sung/chanted by the monks. I even got up to attend the 4 am vigils. There were also prayer services held at 7am, 12:15pm, 5:20pm and 7:30pm. I attended most of them.

I didn't feel like I was going mad the first two days but I did feel extremely emotional. I couldn't stop crying. It felt like a cleanse. Almost like my body was purging with tears. It took me a little while before I could embrace the silence. But when I did, it was beautiful.

The silence taught me to be completely in the moment. And that made me feel connected to everything around me in a way I never felt before.

I remember sitting at the outside dining area. There were people all around me sitting in silence. I even shared a table with two others. Everything was magnified. I could hear the sounds of the forks scraping the plates and the sounds of the birds in the distance. My eyes fixated on a butterfly and I watched it dance the entire time I ate. And I tasted the food in a completely different way. It was like tasting everything for the first time.

I think everyone should try being silent for a period of time. Go away to do it. It doesn't have to be a religious or spiritual place. It could be in nature. I could go on and on about all of the insights I gained that week. I think it gives you a completely different perspective on life. I'm thankful for my week of silence. It changed me for the better.

Click here for more pictures that I took from my trip and of the Monastery

Darren Brown: Hypnotist, Magician, Illusionist and Mind Reader

Derren Brown is an English hypnotist, magician, illusionist, and mind reader who absolutely blows me away. The best way to describe what he does is with one of his own quotes:


"I mix magic, suggestion, psychology, misdirection and showmanship ... at no point are actors or stooges used in this show."

Derren's website: derrenbrown.co.uk

Derren Brown on You Tube

The skeptic in me wanted to believe that he uses actors but after watching so much of his work, I think that he is merely a master of his craft. e.g. hypnosis, memory tricks, NLP, illusion etc. If that's the case, his control over people scares me.  Whether he uses actors or not, it's entertaining stuff.

Michael Jordan: 30 Second Inspiration

I love this ad! It inspires me every time I see it. This used to be posted on my MySpace site but I just saw it again and thought it was worth reposting.

My Spiritual Journey and My Introduction to Kaballah

A little bit about my spiritual journey..
I was raised as a Roman Catholic and a lot of the "beliefs" still resonate with me.  I don't label myself that anymore.  Ever since I can remember, I've challenged my parents and my highly religious family on so many of the teachings by asking questions.  Not to piss them off but to find the answers to some of the teachings that I struggled with.

Since my teenage years, I've been exploring different schools of thought surrounding religion and spirituality.  At certain times, I even labelled myself an atheist and agnostic.  Today, I consider myself to be a very spiritual person.  I think there's something out there that connects us:  God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it.  Just something bigger.  It's also important for me to explore religious and spiritual beliefs other than the one that I was born into.

My introduction to Kaballah..
Just got back from an introductory event at The Kabbalah Center. Up until this week, all I knew about Kaballah is that it had to do with teachings from ancient scriptures older than the bible. I had heard that it was somehow related to the Jewish religon and that Madonna practiced it. So basically, I didn't know much.

So when my friend Filomena invited me to a free event called "Kabbalah: The Best Kept Secret", I accepted the invitation. When we got there, the room was packed with over 100 people. Most of them were people like my friend and I who were getting their first taste of Kaballah.

What I learned tonight..

• "Kabbalah means to receive. It is an ancient body of wisdom, not a religon but teachings of spiritual and physical laws that govern the universe."

• A lot of the concepts I learned tonight remind me a bit of "The Secret" and also of so many other things that I am reading and watching lately.

• The lesson that stood out for me and I'm still pondering:  Kabbalah teaches that "The Creator" or "the Light" is always giving but we must spiritually "earn" before we can receive.

• I learned a lot of ideas that were interesting and enlightening. I could go on and on about what I learned in a span of two hours but don't have the time to blog about it so if you want to find out more about Kabbalah, go to the official website http://www.kabbalah.com/.

My conclusions (for now)..

As I continue to explore spiritual teachings of various religions, philosophers and spiritual concepts and ideas, I'm starting to conclude that they all teach the same basic principles. They are all just different paths to enlightenment. That being said,  I know a lot of people who are "true" to their religion who would disagree with me and pray for me.

On Music and Passion

I first found Benjamin Zander on the Ted.com website. This man's passion inspires me! I've always had a respect for classical music but never really gave it a chance (I'm a rocker / new waver at heart.)

Benjamin Zander has completely ignited a new appreciation for classical music in me... just by watching this 20 minute talk.



I also found out that Benjamin Zander is an instructor for the Landmark Education Forum. I attended "the Forum" years and years ago and that's a subject for a whole other blog post.

My latest addiction.. TED Talks

As an information junkie and a person obsessed with learning, I've struck gold! I'm completely addicted to the Ted talks website: http://www.ted.com/.

I've watched videos that have absolutely fascinated me, some have inspired me, I've laughed, cried and some have even made me rethink some of my views. I love the passion that emanates from each speaker.

TED is a free website dedicated to the spreading of ideas. Basically, the website hosts a collection of talks from experts and great thinkers in every field.

Each expert is challenged "to give the talk of their lives" in 18 minutes or less.

The speakers are diverse and range from musicians (Bono, Peter Gabriel) to film writers/directors (J.J Abrams), to physicists (Stephen Hawking) to CEO's (Richard Branson) to marketing experts (Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell) and even former world leaders (Bill Clinton, Al Gore). ...Just to name a few.

Here are a couple of my favourite talks so far:

Why We Do What We Do and How We Can Do It Better (22:30 minutes)



Charming, witty and fascinating talk by Sir Ken Robinson.  Creativity is as important as literacy and our current education system isn't set up to nurture it in our children.  "We are educating people out of their creative capacities."

Do Schools Kill Creativity? (20:03 minutes)


"All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."  -- Pablo Picasso

My photos from the Madonna Show at the Air Canada Centre - Oct 18, 2008

I was able to capture some pretty good shots at the Madonna show at the Air Canada Centre on Saturday. Thanks to my workplace, Shoppers Drug Mart for the awesome seats!  I thought the show was phenomenal. I can't believe she's 50. Check out her body. She inspired me to get back on the treadmill!



Setlist - Air Canada Centre - October 18, 2008 

Candyshop
Beat Goes On
Human Nature
Vogue
Video break: Die Another Day

Into The Groove
Heart Beat
Borderline
She’s Not Me
Video break: Rain/ Here Comes The Rain Again

Devil Wouldn’t
Spanish Lesson
Miles Away
La Isla Bonita/Lela Pala Tute, You Must Love Me
Video break: Get Stupid

4 Minutes
Like A Prayer
Ray Of Light
Hung Up
Give It 2 Me



I just finished reading "Life with My Sister Madonna"  which was written by her brother, Christopher Ciccone.  I couldn't put down for a couple of reasons. I wanted to get the dirt on Madonna and I also wanted to get into her head because I think she's absolutely brilliant. If you're a Madonna fan, I highly recommend it. From the book, you can tell that Christopher is bitter and he's actually a pretty good writer.

I Made Some Vacation Videos

Whenever I come back from a vacation, I like to put together some of the footage I shot to music so I can have something other than pictures to remember it by.  These were taken from our recent cruise vacation.  I made this one using Windows Movie Maker.  It's a free program, pretty basic and it's easy to use.

The #1 Fear: Public Speaking

"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy." -- Jerry Seinfeld

Public speaking used to be my #1 fear in life. When I was a kid in class, I would always avoid eye contact with my teachers so they wouldn't call on me to answer a question.  Whenever it was time to do a speech in school, I would pretend to be sick and stay home. There were many times in my life where I let this fear hold me back. I even had to pass up career advancements and salary increases in my last company because of it.

Today, I find myself in a job where I have to speak in public quite often as a technical trainer for Shoppers Drug Mart.  Yes, I still have a lot of fears around public speaking.  They haven't completely gone away.  The difference is is that now I have the courage to step outside of my comfort zone. I now see public speaking as an opportunity to grow myself and continue to work on overcoming this fear.

How did I finally gain the courage to speak in public? I immersed myself in it. I joined a Toastmasters public speaking club.  It's probably the best thing I have ever done to advance my skills and increase my self confidence.

Toastmasters is an international non-profit organization that teaches public speaking and leadership skills.  In every meeting, you get the opportunity to speak by performing various roles, participating in impromptu speaking sessions or by delivering a prepared speech. You also receive valuable feedback and formal evaluations every time you deliver a speech.

To find out more about Toastmasters or to find a club in your area, go to their international website at http://www.toastmasters.org/

If you had one lecture to give before you died, what would it be?

This is a long one but worth the watch. The first time I watched this video, it made me really appreciate what little time we have on this earth. It reminded me of the main lesson I learned when I was going through chemo and the reality of my own mortality was hitting me like a ton of bricks: Appreciate every single moment!

Randy Paucsh is a professor who was asked to speak at his university as part of an ongoing series of lectures called "The Last Lecture" where professors were asked,"If you had one lecture to give before you died, what would it be?"

Ironically, at the time of this lecture, Randy Pausch (who had liver cancer) was told by his doctors that he only had approximately had 3-6 months of good health left. Sadly, Randy Pausch died on July 25, 2008 at the age of 47 but he leaves behind a touching, witty and extremely inspiring video (and now book).


Randy Pausch Last Lecture (1 hr 16 mins)

Cancer Sucks: My Story

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 29.  It stopped my life for about a year (I had to take time off of work) and treatment lasted for about 5 years: everything from surgeries, several rounds of chemo, radiation and blood transfusions. I was unfortunately someone who got lots of side effects from various drugs.  If it said 1 in 500,000 people might experience this or that, I was that "1" that experienced it.  It sucked!

I'm happy to say that I've been cancer free for years now.

My talk at the Think Pink Fundraiser for The Princess Margaret Hospital Walk To End Breast Cancer - June 2008

I was asked to give a talk at the Think Pink fundraiser for The Walk To End Breast Cancer - Team Shoppers Drug Mart. Raising money for breast cancer research at Princess Margaret Hospital.

I was really nervous about speaking about my story in front of a large audience and almost backed out. I'm glad that I did it because it ended up being a real empowering experience for me. After I gave the talk, I can't count how many people came up to me after and told me how I touched them in some way. I can't believe how many people shared stories of how they lost a mother, father, brother, sister, friend and even dog to cancer.

I'm hoping that I was able to make a small difference in raising cancer prevention awareness and hopefully some money for the event. Obviously it's a cause that's near and dear to my heart.

Really great free guitar lessons on You Tube

Justin is my favourite guitar teacher ever! He has tons of You Tube Lessons on his website for beginner to advanced players.

It's free! And it's completely up to you if you want to donate to help keep the site running. He also sells some DVD's and books which are excellent.


I love this guy.  I've never even met him but I've spent hours taking guitar lessons from him on You Tube and happily make donations to his site and buy his products.






2012 Update

Justin's You Tube lessons have over 68 million hits and a ton of world renowned guitar players endorse his lessons. e.g. Brian May, Steve Vai, Mark Knopfler, Tommy Emmanuel

Justin's model of giving away his lessons for free gained him students (and fans) around the world. He was able to make teaching guitar on You Tube his full time gig and he started selling lesson books and CD's and has done teaching tours around the world.

I fortunately was able to meet him and get personal one on one lessons the two times he came to Toronto on his worldwide teaching tours.  I also got to hang out with him both times as well and get to know the incredible human being he is.  I also took Skype lessons with him.  I still think he's the best teacher ever!

What the Bleep Do We Know?

Here's another thought provoking documentary which made me question my views on reality once again.  What the Bleep Do We Know makes connections between reality, spirituality and the science of quantum physics and neurophysics.

• What the Bleep Do We Know Official Site

"Through the course of the film, the distinction between science and religion becomes increasingly blurred, since we realize that, in essence, both science and religion describe the same phenomena."

I'm don't think every claim in the film is backed with scientific data but it's absolutely fascinating. Some of the principles are "new agey" and it reminds me of a lot of Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer's teachings on health-spirit connection.

My favourite scene from a movie ever

I love this movie. I love this song. I wish I was on the bus.

I used to dream about director Cameron Crowe's life experience that the movie was based on. At the young age of 16, he became a journalist for Rolling Stone magazine. He got to tour with and/or interview 1970s rock legends such as the Yes, Zeppelin, the Eagles, Allman Brothers, Bob Dylan, Bowie, Neil Young, Eric Clapton.  The list goes on.

This scene just gets me.

Almost Famous - Tiny Dancer Bus Scene (2:26 mins)


And while we're on the subject. Dave Grohl was just as inspired by that scene as I was. His cover of the song on the "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilburn" is one of my fave covers too. I wish I was in the audience.

Dave Grohl - Tiny Dancer cover (6:36 mins)

On communication

"Never use two words when one will do." Thomas Jefferson

Popular Music is Unoriginal

This is hillarious. Just shows how unoriginal most popular music is.

The first time I saw this, I thought it was brilliant. I just saw it again and thought it was absolutely worth posting.

On setting goals and dreaming big

Here are some quotes I've been pondering lately:
"At a certain level, what we do at Disney is very simple. We set our goals, aim for perfection, inevitably fall short, try to learn from our mistakes, and hope that our successes will continue to outnumber our failures." -- Michael Eisner – CEO, Disney

Here's another quote that sums up the idea of "thinking big" for me:
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars.." -- Les Brown - motivational speaker

and here's a final quote:.
"...Don't merely dream big, dream beautifully..."  -- Walt Disney

It's good to be a quitter

Seth Godin is a marketing genius, a best selling author, an incredible speaker and his blog has a massive following. I highly recommend Seth's blog.

I also highly recommend his book, "The Dip, a little book that teaches you when to quit (and when to stick)."  I liked it so much that I took the time to sum up some of the main points by sharing some direct quotes from the book:

• Seth Godin on "strategic quitting:  The famous quote from Vince Lomabardi is WRONG:   "Quitters never win and winners never quit." Winners quit all the time. They just quit the wrong stuff at the right time.

• Seth Godin on "being the best:"  What you learned in school is wrong.. Being well rounded is NOT the secret to success. Focus on one thing and be the best in the world at it. Society rewards the exceptional. If you find yourself in a dead end job or if you can never be the best and are mediocre at what you do, QUIT. Find a job that you can be great at.

• Seth Godin on "the dip:"  Almost everything in life worth doing is controlled by the dip. The dip is the long slog between starting and mastery. A long slog that's actually a shortcut, because it gets you where you want to go faster than any other path."

When you first start something, it's interesting and fun. Over the next while, it's easy to stay engaged because you are learning rapidly. And then you run into The Dip.

The Dip is the difference between: easy vs. expert, beginners luck vs. real accomplishment. The average person quits (or cruises along and stays mediocre) when faced by The Dip.


The "best in the world" are people who invest the time and energy to power through the dip. People who get past the dip are scarce so they are compensated highly. Successful people don't just ride out the dip...they push harder, changing the rules as they go.

Quotes that stood out to me that I'm currently pondering:  

• Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff.
• Have the guts to do one or the other. If you're not going to get to #1, you might as well quit now.

Zeitgeist, The Movie

Zeitgeist is one of the most thought provoking documentaries I've ever seen. Lots of conspiracy theories and ideas on how to go about social and economic change.  I'm sure a lot of people I know will be offended by a lot of the ideas presented.  Watch it with an open mind.

Welcome to my Blog

Where to begin?

I decided that I needed a place where I could gather all of the things that I find great. Or even not so great. Things that I find interesting. A place where I could express my thoughts and a place I could share.  I'm not sure if anyone will read this. Not really sure how to proceed. 

Blogging is new to me. Writing is not. I've written for a couple of magazines. I write for work. I've written hundreds of poems & song ideas.  I've also written thousands of personal journal entries of my ideas, thoughts and personal experiences.  

Now I start this adventure of writing publicly. Putting my words "out there." And it feels scary. I stared at a blank computer screen a long time before I started typing.  Hopefully the words come. 

So welcome to my blog. And thank you for reading.